“Keep your friends close but your enemies closer.” As far as advice from movies, that quote from Godfather II is pretty famous. It’s right up there with, “Do or do not, there is no try” and my favorite, “It could be worse, it could be raining.”
I was not born into a crime family, nor am I a Jedi, so I’ve generally ignored those first two pieces of advice. That third one is just funny. This week we’re talking about friendship and that quote from Godfather II popped into my head. It makes me wonder if that’s how some people live their lives, focused more on their enemies than their friends? Well, if they do, they probably have good reason. Happy Hour must be a drag.
I like to keep my friends close. I am the friend who texts and asks when we’re having lunch and then when that lunch is over, I tend not to let anyone leave until we have scheduled another lunch. We just planned a dinner party for a dear friend’s 40th birthday. It was as elegant a potluck as I have ever seen. I am trying to put together a yearly retreat for my mom’s group, half of whom have moved away over the past 6 years. I love those mamas and I want to know them for the rest of my life. I’m hoping we can be Golden Girls together, but not in Florida because Florida is far and my kids won’t visit.
We can go to Phoenix or somewhere like that. We’ll be the Sunburnt Girls.
My friends are all women. Don’t get me wrong, in the past…oh my goodness…there is an enormous raccoon outside my window! Hang on while I go peek at it.
It’s GIANT. And it’s allergies must be acting up, because it is wheezing.
My point is, that as I get older, my friends mean more and more to me. As my life has become harder and more confusing, my friends have become more loving, more accepting, and more willing to listen to me when I need to talk and sometimes they hug me when I cry.
My friends don’t care how I dress, how much I weigh, what car I drive, or who I can introduce them to who might advance their careers or social standing. They like me for me and I adore them for who they are. They want to spend time with me so that we can laugh and catch up on each other’s lives. My friendships are a bunch of mutual admiration societies. The meetings tend to be held about once a month around lunch time at whatever restaurant, or Chipotle, we can all agree on. We have to be done in time for some of us to pick up kids. Or make it to volunteer meetings. Get back to our offices. Get back to the office, then pick up kids, then schlep to a volunteer meeting later that night (Anna, I am looking at you).
I feel better after talking to my friends. Lighter, happier, more clear-headed. I don’t feel as much of a flailing failure and I genuinely hope my friends feel better after they have spent some time with me.
Recently, a friend of mine and I pledged to take care of each other in our old age. We vowed to check in on each other and to make sure we aren’t in danger of poisoning ourselves, or setting our living spaces on fire. More than likely, our kids will do these things for us and we will just doodle along to a local bakery together, eating our way through the cake selections, talking about things no one but the two of us care about, until one of our kids sends a driverless car to pick us up and take us back home.
It’s a future I hope will come true. Especially the part about the cakes.
(Cynthia, I am talking about you here. And it will probably be Adam who sends the car.)
I heartily agree with the advice to keep your friends close and if your enemies are so scary that you have to make a plan for how to deal with them…well, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m the wrong person to talk to. I just closed and locked every door and window in my house because I’m scared of the wheezing raccoon waddling around outside.
Keep your friends close.