Glitter Jars are the New Emotional Support Gerbils

Glitter Jars are the New Emotional Support Gerbil

I am so wound up I made myself a calm down jar. I was in Target, stress shopping because I had spent the morning figuring out how to obtain burial permits for my parents, and I found a little tub of glitter. When I saw the glitter, I remembered the stories I saw a few years ago about parents making glitter jars for their preteen daughters to help them pull themselves back from the emotional ledge they pretty much live on while in middle school.

“I should make one of those glitter things for Six,” I thought, getting my phone out and looking up how to do it. So I bought all the stuff, which was just a six pack of Voss water in plastic bottles and some glitter because I had water and corn syrup and dish soap at home.

Then I got home and emotionally and physically stalled out. I made a couple phone calls and figured out a couple things and then I just sat on the couch and stared into space. From the outside, this does not look like ‘wound up’ but for me it is. When I fall silent and still, I am either sick, thinking or overwhelmed. Today I was overwhelmed. And when I become overwhelmed my mind goes in eight different directions and drowns me in comments, questions and concerns.

Then I remembered the glitter jar (I was berating myself for going to Target and missing my window to talk to a government office that is open for seemingly 20 minutes a week).

“Six doesn’t need a goddamn glitter jar, I DO!” I yelled at no one. I was home alone.

So I got off the couch and made a glitter jar. It’s actually a plastic water bottle and I didn’t follow the directions (per usual). I just stood in the kitchen dumping water, corn syrup, glitter and a teeny bit of dish soap into a bottle until all the glitter swirled around for awhile then gently fell to the bottom.

I am going to make a shitload of these things! I am going to put one in my car, next to my bed, in the kitchen and I will even make one for Six because he will think it is fun. Forget emotional support animals, every adult I know needs one of these. As we all hopefully know, telling someone to calm down is guaranteed to wind them up. And I am telling you right now that shaking this little bottle at me would be a huge mistake. Also, there is no certainty I won’t end up throwing one of these things out a car window at some point. All that being said, better to try and fail than go quietly crazy on the couch.

I’m off to make five more of these things. Here’s the link I used in Target to get started. I did not boil the water which means it is possible that at some point gross things will begin to grow in my bottle but by then I will probably have lost all of them so no harm, no foul.

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