Quarantine Taught Me About My Husband

Girl, Clear Your Browsing Data

It just occurred to me a few minutes ago that I should really clear my browsing data.

Why, you might ask? Well, thanks for asking!

I’ve been sick in bed for the past 36 hours. I have a TV and a laptop at my disposal but I’ve spent most of the past 36 hours poking away at my phone’s little rectangular glass screen. It’s been fun.

Hang on, I have to go take some medicine and it sounds as if someone is trying to break into my house which means Six must be home from lunch with his dad.

Hmmm. No one is here. Well, I cleared my browsing data so if I end up murdered at least I won’t embarrass Older Son with my idiotic/obsessive search history.

So I’ve been sick. Again. And I’ve had the TV on but mostly it’s been me and my phone. I just checked my browsing data and I’m a total weirdo. There are three things people should be forced to display on their dating profiles:

  • Browsing history
  • Tax returns
  • Spotify playlists

The browsing data and playlists would update every 24 hours, giving the weirdest among us a sporting chance to get the worst of our internet wanderings off our profiles. Tax returns are yearly, no exceptions.

Anyway, I have absolutely no intention of telling you what I searched for because I am not a Kardashian. And although it was weird it was boring. I fell down one hole after another until I passed out at about 5 this morning. 

And before you ask, I didn’t look up porn (I use my kindle fire for that) but I took a wide ranging gallop across the internet that pretty much cements my reputation as a boring-ass nerd who probably needs to shower, leave her house and meet a real life man.

But until that happens there is alway my daguerreotype boyfriend.

Girl, clear your browsing data, no one but you needs to know where your mind has been.

An intelligent reader asked an excellent question regarding this post.


Well, it depends on the device you are clearing. Here is a starting point from the good people at Popular Science. Any specific questions, email us at persistiny@gmail.com and we will do our best to help.


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